L.O.V.E Series (Part Two)

L.O.V.E

(I want to make this clear that the L.O.V.E series is a frictional story, but  the content in this post was based on my real life.)

I don’t want to get hurt again! The fear of letting someone in my heart scares me so much. I feel so much pain from my last love that lingers in my mind. It hunts me because I stayed so long when it was so dysfunctional from the beginning:

Him: U fuckin bitch
Me: I’m not
Him: Give me ya mom number
Him: Yo if u was here rite now I would slap da shit outta u

I am scared of my judgment of men. I am scared I always fall for the jerks and the assholes. Constantly being seen as an option, never valued as being the one. I can see flashbacks of how much in love I was, and how I would stay when he would verbally abuse me. Feeling it was my fault, that I deserve that because I would make him angry. I rather not feel anything then feel everything all at once. I DON’T THINK I CAN HANDLE IT AGAIN SO QUICKLY.

Its not that you’re going to become my lover, but your going to become my enemy in the end of this romance. I hear the melody playing in my head of sad songs developing. I already feel my life tearing apart and we have not even begun. I almost forgot who you are, but I can’t forget the words you tell me. It’s turning into a bad decision. This can’t be love because I already see an ending. I can’t be falling for you because it would lead to destruction.

(I worried about entering another relationship when in the beginning of my last  had these messages involved: The message blew happen on aim back when I was a sophomore in college after telling him that my male classmate text me… Yes I saved my aim messages because deep down I didn’t think he should talk to me like that but I still I stayed because I would tell myself he did this because he loved me. I stayed because deep down I didn’t love myself. )

———————- October 12,   ———————-

Him: U fuckin bitch
Me: I’m not
Him: Give me ya mom number
Him: Yo if u was here rite now I would slap da shit outta u
Him: Since u wanna act like u single go be single
Me: I’m not acting like I’m single
Him: Imma call her & tell her how much of a bitch u r
Me: I don’t like him
Me: Babe calm down
Him: yo u done piss3d me off
Me: Yea
Him: I’m tired of dealin wit ya nieve bullshit
Me: I didn’t do anything though
Him: Ur like a fuckin mentally slow child
Him: I’m not dealin wit u no more
Him: All u do is make me angry
Me: Come on
Him: And I have no reason 2 put up wit dis
Me: u love me
Me: Y u not going to let me talk
Me: U
Me: I love u so much

Him: U r fucking stupid

Him: Stop callin my phone bitch!

Him: Das ya fuckin problem u don’t listen!

Me: Ur not listen to me

Me: Y can’t u see that I only love u
Him : K y u always got dis kinda problem?
Him: Y is it that I never have no gurls callin my phone on some bullshit like that?
Me: no one calls my phone
Me: Beside my family
Me: Nd u
Him : Das nice
Him : Y is he sendin u msgs then???
Me: Idk
Him: I don’t like him
Him: Imma start givin out my number then
Me: We have clas together
Him : Imma see how u like it
Me: That it I don’t hang out him
Me: I only time I text him was monday when I messed class
Me: To see if we had a quiz on wednesday
Me: I only talk to him bout school
Him : Yo k dis better be da last time I ever hear some shit like that again
Me: Ok
Him: I will dump ya ass in a heartbeat
Him : And not give a shit about it
Me: I’m going to tell him not to text me no more
Me: Bc he cross the line
Him : I really think we need 2 take a break
Me: No we dont
Him : Cuz I feel like im too good 2 be treated like this
Me: I treat u good
Me: I’m always there when u need me
Him : U givin me nothin but stress and problems
Him : No u r not
Him : I am miserable
Me : And I aint been happy in a long time
Me:  Is bc I’m in school
Him : No
Him : Cuz u stupid
Me: or bc wat happen over the summer
Him : And do stupid shit
Him : Dummy!
Him: Do u realize that there r a million other women
Him : Who would give me wat u give me and more?
Me: Just tell me r u in love wit me
Me: I know there other women
Him: What?
Me: I ask r u in love wit me
Him : I don’t think I can be in love wit some1 who blatantly disrespects my relationship

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5 thoughts on “L.O.V.E Series (Part Two)

  1. Reading these messages makes me so upset. And I’m so glad you’re a better you today. You have to remember to not let fear control your life. The only thing you can do is read the signs. xx

  2. Niggas like these give use men a bad name but I can call him a man, on bitches would want to put there hand on a female ,man card has been revoked

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