Playing House Without the Ring

Playing House Without the Ring

177

By: Ms. K

 

 

I recently had a conversation with one of my cousin about when is it the right time to help get a car with your boyfriend (meaning you are financing his car) and putting him on your insurance. While I will admit I played house without having a ring, from cooking, having joint bank accounts, credit cards, and other things. I would never recommend anyone to do that without having a title. It’s a personal decision, but while your doing wife duties you are not his wife, as my father would say “why buy the cow when you get the milk for free.”

A balance needs to be created between loving someone and respecting your self worth. Beyoncé said it well “ Put a Ring on it.” The reason marriage is valued so little is because so many people are playing house without having to be married. We start doing married things before we are married so the wedding just symbolizes a ceremony instead of a union.

 

We all know in the beginning of a relationship we are head over heals with the person, as its called the “honeymoon stage”, but this is the stage you need to develop the tone of your relationship. Stop pretending that you understand love when in reality you have been in love in every last relationship, yet they were not the one. Love is not a word it’s a feeling, it’s an action, SO STOP LISTENING TO I LOVE YOU, and start watching their actions. If we took the time to evaluate instead of rushing more people would realize that lust was the key ingredient in most of their relationships instead of love. How many times do women need to relive falling in love for it to be just a fantasy of an illusion?

 

I only used the words “I love you” to one person minus my family. When I used does words I thought he was going to become my husband, because I felt you could only truly love one person in your life. While I grown from my last relationship I had to take the time to evaluate everything. I played wife, but I was not his wife. I did wife duties and while, I thought it would be progression in a relationship its simply a digression in reality. I believe their needs to be a separation between a girlfriend and a wife role.

 

We need men to understand you do things as his girlfriend because you care for him, but with that being said your not going to play house. Wifey by words does not make you his wife. As long as you stay his girlfriend they will be few things you should not do until he put that ring on it. While boys will use that famous line what you wont do another chick will, trust in believe even if you do it another chick might still become his wife. So if you believe that you’re building your future by doing wife duties hopefully your not doing it more then two years. After two years and you don’t have a ring, a conversation needs to be done because while he calls you wifey by society norms your not his wife, if anything was to happen to him you receive nothing.

 

While some people don’t want to get married. That another topic we will discuss in a different post.

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Playing House Without the Ring

  1. You are very right.. i always do stuff for my boyfriend hoping he would feel appreciated and loved. We have been going out for a while now more than two years but lately i have been very resentful of almost everything because i don’t feel i’m getting the same back.

    1. Hi Jen,
      I understand you feeling resentful and feeling like he don’t care, you and your boyfriend just need to talk. Let him know how you feel. Find out where the relationship is going. I understanding being together after 2 yrs you want to feel everything your doing is not going to waste.

      I was in a relationship for almost 6 yrs, he asked for me to marry him we picked rings, but in the end he was not ready. He felt I was rushing him.

      That why communicating and finding out where the relationship is going is key and then in your head set a time frame. Especially if you want to be married and have a life together as one.

      -Ms. K

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