No SEX before Monogamy

By: Ms. K

 

We have escaped the realms of dating and moved straight to sleeping with someone. A simple getting to know someone has skipped all the proper elements, instead of establishing a title we settle for just talking. The common notion of having fun has stretch the terms “ I am not looking for a relationship” into a premature I just want to have sex.

I am not going to lie after my breakup, I wanted to have fun, I was not looking for a relationship, I just wanted sex. While looking back I was mending from a broken heart with just wanting to sleep with someone without any proper title. While I was only sleeping with only one person on a constant level I was not his girlfriend, nor were we even dating. The only thing we were doing was screwing. It does not mean I don’t have feelings, but once you enter a situation sexually it makes it hard to look back and ask yourself “why are we not dating?” I am good enough to sleep with, but I am not good enough to date.

Sex is just an adjective! I am having sex is an action. While some people assume that these construct just a physical action at some degree it tailors a form of intimacy. It contemplates an emotion in a person. It’s not impossible for someone to separate their emotions to a night of passion with no strings attach, but what is lacking in our generation is the ability to form a deeper intimacy with someone beyond sex.

Intimacy should go beyond the sheets, the lips, and touch. It should become a deeper connection between two people. A bond so strong it generates electrifying passion without the need of sex to complete the attraction. Everyone wants that sweet nectar that slivers down there lips. But a deeper connection is missing? That I cant sleep, breath or eat feeling. It can be cliché to want the romance, the conversation, the laughter, but that better then just having a warm body to sleep with and have no deeper connection.

The moment when you become someone convince between their sheets. The deeper connection that you once desire becomes the shared desire to just fuck. It has become a common trend in our generation to have friends with benefits, one-night stands, a casual fling, because we are lacking substance beyond the sheets. No one is dating anymore!

While it make sense to establish a bond beyond sex, it becomes difficult to establish the boundaries once you skipped the talking and dating phase. You have now entered the “I am in a situation conversation.” Which later can lead to deeper emotions, confused taught, and even a moment of “what am I doing.”

So ask yourself, what are you doing? Have you just become someone to just screw, a person who only receive intimacy through sex, and lack communication beyond his lips? You deserve so much more. Your self worth has a deeper level of becoming someone girlfriend and eventually a wife. Don’t lessen yourself for a simple screw. I am not going to lie I love sex, but I love myself so much more.