I wrote this last year when I made one of the hardest decisions in my life. I made the decision around the time of mother’s day and a year later it is still a hard topic that makes me worried about my future, but I still have faith. Now I am 27 years old about to turn 28 in the next seven days, and I pray that one day I will become a mother!
By: Ms. K
It’s that time of the year that we celebrating Mother’s Day once again. This time of year for me is always a constant reminder that I might not experience the joy of motherhood, because of my battle with PCOS. PCOS stands for Polycystic Ovaries Syndrome is basically a hormone imbalance. It might be difficult to get pregnant. I don’t believe that I won’t become a mom, but a couple of months ago my doctor told me that I had to make a decision in regards to freezing my eggs. My heart stop, because I couldn’t believe that one day I might not become a mother to my own bundle of joy. All my friends are becoming moms and even though I don’t want to become a mother tomorrow, I want the option of becoming a mom one day. I want that unconditional bond that can’t be broken between a mother and a child. Continue reading “Stop the Clock”→
I am a romantic person at heart but since I am single this year, and I will not be receiving a bucket of flowers, a box of candy or any lovely suggestions even though I did get a v-day text this morning. I want to start my day by working out because loving me takes 365 days commitment. Plus its All Star Weekend, the only gift I want are tickets to the game maybe next year:)
I am going to give some Valentines Day suggestions for my lovely readers. I doesn’t matter if your single, dating, or in a new relationship or a season couple.
I rang in the New Year ready to date. Ready to just be out in the dating world again trying to discover what I want in a man. My previous relationship lasted for almost six years and it left me twisted, fragile, hurt, and scared to give another man my heart. I know my last relationship was not perfect it had many flaws, a lack of trust, and communication issues. I didn’t want to enter the dating world hurt or give another man my heart until I was fully healed within. I gave myself a year to remain single and to rediscover myself before embarking into the dating world.
The song that motivated me to finally move on was Beyonce- “Best Thing I Never Had”
After watching the ball drop in Time Square, I got a message on Instagram from a guy who being asking me out for a date a couple of times (Well it was not direct, but he implied). I’m being avoiding replying to his attempts because he is not my type. He is not my type at all! While I am not a person of looks, or status, I am a woman who has a type. I already know I want to avoid my old types the jerks, and cheaters. While I wanted to be optimistic about what this date will entail, I really didn’t want take part. But for a short moment I responded, “we should go out this Friday.” The convo actually went like this because I didn’t want to quote the wrong thing.
The pic that started the convo on Instagram :
Me: I’m ready for 2nite #city
Him: Where we at lol
Me: I’m in NY lol… where u at
Him: South beach
Me: I know ur having fun
Him: Not really am not partying with u
Me: Next time we can party together
Him: Tell me anything
Me: We should go out this Friday
Him: We can
Me: K that the plan.
I am a woman of my words, but quickly after saying yes with liquor in my system… I wanted to reschedule or cancel. I finally arrived back in Florida and it was Friday “Date Night.” I was not excited, nervous, I just wanted to get it over with. I imagine my first date being fill with excitement, instead I just wanted to get it over with.
The date almost didn’t happen, because I was sleeping and only woke up because I didn’t want to reschedule. While getting ready I didn’t want to be too sexy, or look too lazy, I just wanted to look like I’m going out with my friend. I just wanted to look comfortable. While getting ready I am texting my Latin papi R and asking him how I look. If I can choose he would be my date because I care for him. (Even though with him he will break my heart into a million pieces, because he was my first, my friend at times, plus he lives in NY.)
The outfit for my first date: (I got Latin Papi R approval)
While its time for the date to finally start, I had to pick him up. (His car was not working, and he suggested rescheduling, but I just wanted to get it over with.) When I picked him up, he had no idea of what he wanted us to do so I suggest we get something to eat. While driving to Benihanna to our first date we had a good car convo learn more about him that I didn’t know. I realize that next time I am going to drive to the location by myself with any future first date, because that awkward moment when your trying to have a good convo plus remain having a good convo while on the date. (Disclaimer first dates so this might not be true for future dates). The conversation was actually going well. It was nothing bad about the conversation, just learning more about each other. We arrive to our destination and already we were ready to seat and continue conversation.
It’s about to go down! I am an Instagram photo addict. I will confess, so once the date started I’m just clicking away from the chef, to taking a selfie. While taking a selfie he asked are you going to take a picture of us. I took a picture, but I didn’t want to upload the picture to Instagram, because I love taking pic of myself but I am trying to be very private with my personal life. I feel some aspects of my life should be private, plus we all know the golden rule “Be very carefully when posting pictures of new relationships, potential relationship or a simple date” because no one have time to answer a million and one questions.
(The chief was doing his thing)
Picture upload… instant response form best friend, and sisters via text and a left voice mail. While I am still on a date, but I could not ignore my phone. Well I didn’t want to ignore my phone.
Text Convo:
Best F: -__- is he wearing gold teeth -___-
Me: Yes he is smh lol
Best F: -__- #done
Me: It’s nothing serious he been asking so finally said alright
Best F: Clearly hope so #nojudgement but come on
Me: Believe its nothing more
Best F: Imma have to smack u. I am only like 6 hours away
Me: no u don’t
Best F: -___- Hmph ight (puts black attitude away) going back to packing
Me: U know he is not my type but I figure what wrong with dinner
O it didn’t end their my sister was blowing up my phone, leaving me a voice mail.
Me: What happen
Sister: Voice Mail
Me: I heard it… Y’all are crazy
Sister: Delete Delete Delete Delete
Flee the scene
Me: OMG
Sister: We’re so serious
I didn’t think he was that hideous
Me: I told u he was not my type u said go for it
Sister: Omg but this is something else
Me: Ok you should listen to me when I say my comments
Sister: Well on the bright side I am happy you got your feet wet
Me: ok
I wish I could play the voice mail… It was hilarious.
It didn’t stop their I forgot I had my Instagram account link to Facebook, that was another round of being like who this? Even people who didn’t respond said they were thinking who is this guy.
So that picture got deleted on Facebook, and Instagram. (I already told him I might not keep it up).
I was not ready for so many questions!
O I was not ready, lesson learn never post a picture of a first date ever.
We have not been on another date since then.
He was not a bad guy; he was just not the guy for me!
Rated S 